


to love like you

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cuddling, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Moduke, Remus typical stuff, Self-Harm, Sympathetic Remus Sanders, intruality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 21:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20842394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Remus finds out a secret.





	to love like you

"Patton!" Remus trills, knocking on Patton's door. Excitement and the kind of invigoration he only gets from the most exciting of dreams fizzes in his veins, sparkling with creativity. And best of all, it's mild enough that he can share it without fear that it will disgust his boyfriend _too_ much. Those are always the best ideas nowadays. 

Silence meets him from the other side of the door and he frowns. Patton's not anywhere else in the mind palace, he's looked. Not even in the imagination. He technically didn't check _Roman's_ side, but he doesn't need to. Either of them can still draw on the power of the imagination from either side. Patton's not there.

Which means Patton must be _here_.

"Patton?" He calls again, trying to modulate his voice into something more serious. "Sunshine?" Finally, he hears shuffling on the other side of the door.

"I'm afraid I'm much more like a storm cloud today," Patton says, choked off by a sniffle. "Sorry, Remus. I don't think I'm very good company today."

All thoughts of telling Patton about his ideas flee from his mind as he impulsively yanks open the door, revealing a puffy-eyed, tear-stained Patton on the other side, mouth open in surprise. Remus's dread grows when he realizes Patton is actually _wearing_ his cat cardigan for once.

"What's wrong?" Remus demands. Patton flushes guiltily before reaching out and snagging one of Remus's flounces, gently tugging him all the way inside before he closes the door.

"Promise not to freak out?" Patton asks, nervous. Remus cocks his head to one side, suddenly somber-eyed.

"I can't promise if I don't know what it is," he tells Patton. Patton sighs.

"I guess I can't blame you," he admits. "It's just..." He bites his lip, before removing his cardigan.

Angry, puffy, red scratches scrawl aimlessly across the insides of both of Patton's forearms.

"Oh, sunshine," Remus whispers, unconsciously reaching out a hand before thinking better of it. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"I know I shouldn't do it," Patton says, draping his cardigan back over his shoulders. "And- and mostly I don't. But, well..." He sighs. "Like I told Thomas before. I'm not just at the core of his happy feelings. I'm at the core of a lot of his _feelings_. And sometimes I don't know how to deal with those feelings." He peeks up through his lashes, nibbling on his bottom lip. "Is- is that okay? I understand if you want to leave..."

"Of course it's okay," Remus blurts. "I want to rip off my own limbs and beat myself to death with them, why would I make a fuss over this?" He waves a hand at Patton's now-covered arms. "It's _okay_, sunshine. I get it. I really, really get it." He yanks up his sleeve to reveal his own faded scars, and Patton's eyes widen in surprise, filling with sympathy immediately afterward.

"I know it's not a great way to deal with stuff," Remus continues. "But uh... Maybe, when we feel like that, we could come find each other instead? I could tell you about my ideas or we could watch Pixar movies or cuddle or-"

"All of that sounds great," Patton interrupts, with a watery smile. "Actually... Could we do that right now? I'd really appreciate it."

Remus sweeps Patton off his feet, settling on his stuffed animal-strewn bed with his blushing boyfriend nestled in his lap.

"Sounds good to me!" He beams. "I love you so much, Pat. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do," Patton says, kissing the underside of Remus's jaw. "Thank you."

"Thank _you_," Remus says, as he grabs the remote. "Now, do you agree with me that Pixar is the best?"

"Oh, Remus," Patton says, and giggles.


End file.
